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Email copy as amusing as a pug in a banana costume (but far more effective).

Can he still play fetch? How does he wee?

I write entertaining emails

Funny ones, that people on your list will actually look forward to reading

They’re the kind that foster brand engagement, increase your sales, and get talked about at dinner parties in that fun, tipsy phase before Craig starts telling lewd jokes and Janet gets the hiccups.  

Well, now, you’re thinking. Those are some pretty big claims from someone who just spent money on a photo of Banana Pug

You know what?

It’s okay to be dubious. Actually, I’m glad you are.

Because now I get to convince you that my services are an excellent investment for your business.

Kind of like what I’ll be doing for your products and services if we work together (unless you’re selling jars of your own belly button fluff, in which case, I’m sorry: even I can’t help you).

Let’s start with some stats...

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Zero out of one Chihuahuas enjoy bath time.

Haha, look at his angry little face! It's like he ju- oh... sorry. My left brain's telling me I need to get back on track.

Alright lefty, you win. Here are some more relevant stats:

  • My launch emails for Erin Mullins-Sanderson (aka Fit Rocker Chick) increased her sales by 175%, landing her her first ever six-figure launch
  • I sold out the beta version of my own course with a sales page and 4 emails, clocking a 10.4% conversion rate
  • I helped online course creator Kristen Walker smash her goal of 20 students for the first launch of her course… by bringing in 110

What would these numbers mean for YOUR business?

Unless you have a mailing list of two (parents come in handy sometimes, amirite?) and are selling individual peanuts, I’m guessing they might mean something pretty good.

 
 

One of the reasons my copy is so effective has a lot to do with the fact I have a background in psychology.

You can read more about it here, but the long and short of it is I KNOW YOUR INNERMOST THOUGHTS!

*Chuckles to self*

No, not really: I'm a trained psychologist, not a psychic.

However...

I do know how to influence behaviour. I'm also highly skilled at getting into people's heads to work out their reservations, motivations, and aspirations.  

Which is key if you want copy that connects and converts. 

And you want that, right?

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Kirsty clarified our messaging perfectly. I didn’t change one word in her copy.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
She understood the mission, understood the pain points of my clients, and NAILED IT. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Our goal for the launch was 200 new students, and we closed the doors with 275, more than doubling our launch profits!!! ⠀⠀⠀
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She made our launch so easy and low stress. We handed her the reigns and she crushed it.
— Erin Mullins Sanderson, Fit Rocker Chick
 

Hi! I'm Kirsty, and I love writing chuckle-worthy copy.  

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As you can see by my photos, I also love to laugh.

You know, like most humans (including the ones on the receiving end of your emails). 

If my squishy cackle face and blonde hair are making you wonder whether I just slap words together for my own enjoyment, please allow me to put you at ease. 

My focus is on copy that converts

In her book, Finding the Right Message, Jen Havice writes, “Unfortunately, well-trained copywriters who do customer research are few and far between… about as easy to find as unicorns.” 

Well, pass me a horn and turn my farts into glitter because I never start writing until I’ve done some digging.

I spend time understanding you, your business, and your customers so I can craft words that resonate. It's part of the secret sauce that allows my emails to cut through noisy inboxes and kick business goals.

As well as bringing solid research and a stack of copy know-how to the table, I also have a handy ol' background in psychology to draw from.

I've got a dusty Masters degree, a wealth of insight from seven years of therapeutic work, and three years' experience communicating high level concepts in a clear, engaging way, thanks to my stint as a university lecturer.

In short, I have a huge amount of knowledge on how humans work, as well as the practical chops to back it up.

I use it to inform my copy; building trust, tapping into emotions, and influencing decision making.

It's a pretty cool skill set to have.

At the risk of sounding incredibly pompous, I want to point out that I also have a great sense of humour and a knack for storytelling.

I guess you could call me a triple threat... 

Kind of like the Hugh Jackman of copywriting, but with less propensity for muscle growth. I also don't look quite as good in shiny gold pants. 

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Nevertheless, how 'bout it: shall we work together?

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Kirsty is indeed the Hugh Jackman of copywriting. Her email copy entertains, engages, and enthralls even the stodgiest of readers.

Her unique background in psychology, storytelling, and research gives Kirsty an edge over ALL the competition. She’s a rare find.

I’m reluctant to share her with the world, because I secretly want to work with Kirsty on ALL of my projects.

If you’re looking for a blend of conversion copy and comedy, Kirsty is it. Hire her. You’ll thank me later.
— Kira Hug, Kira Hug Media
 

I’m all about the 3 Ps...

Personality, psychology, and process

Here’s what that third ONE looks like

 
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STEP 1: RESEARCH

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Before I write a single word of copy, I spend time getting to know you, your voice, your offer, and your prospects on a seriously deep level.

As well as sifting through the data you already have, I’ll spend time filling the holes, via surveys, phone calls, and internet-appropriate levels of stalking.

This is where I get clear insight on how everything fits together, taking note of what’s working, what’s not, and how to move forward with better results.

Once I'm done, I'll share my findings with you, so you can use them to inform other parts of your business, hide them in your broom closet, or print them out and make them into paper aeroplanes. Your choice.

 

 

STEP 2: STRATEGY

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This is where I roll alllll of that research into a launch strategy that fits.

This includes a messaging doc (so we’re both clear on how to talk about your offer, tackle objections, and reach the right people), funnel map (so you can see how everything fits together), and a bunch of finer details, like individual sequence outlines, so you’re across what’s happening when and why.

You'll have a read, ask questions, provide feedback, and - once you're happy - give me the green light to get cracking on the copy.

 

 

STEP 3: COPY

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With the research done and the strategy signed off on, I retreat to my copy cave and get crafting.

I’ll tackle the various pieces in order, depending on the shape of your funnel and your timeframe (e.g. if your designer needs a good few weeks to get your sales page ready, I’ll make sure that’s done early in the piece, so we can all roll into your launch cool, calm, and collected).

Once I'm done, I'll share the copy with you, along with explanations and justifications, so you know how all the bits and pieces are pulling their weight.

This is the part where you review my copy and provide uncensored feedback. Remember that we've already agreed on messaging and strategy, so we won't be changing any of that in this phase. It's more about me tweaking my wording or revising certain sections of text until we have something you're happy with.

Of course, if you're happy with the first version I submit - as many of my clients are - we can skip this step and give each other virtual high-fives.

Once the last piece of copy is delivered, I hang around to provide feedback on the design of your sales page, answer questions that pop up as the launch date draws closer, and cheer you on as the launch goes live.

 

 

STEP 4: DEBRIEF

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Once the launch is done and dusted I’ll go over all the data with a fine-tooth comb, looking at what went well, why, and what could be done differently next time around.

This process is super helpful for both of us: you roll into your next launch with insight in your pocket, and I go into mine with the same. In short, it’s how both of us keep taking our work to more exciting places.

 

 

So whaddaya say...
should we get your next launch rolling?

 

Kirsty nailed every brief, conveying the exact persona we were after while still including our key campaign messages. She brought forward some amazing ideas and looked at things differently than the business had in the past. The results from this were some of the best we’ve had to date. Copywriting for digital comms is becoming increasingly difficult, but Kirsty has a way of cutting through the noise to deliver messages that get results.
— Ellyse Saundersen, Content Marketing Coordinator, TFE Hotels
 

Want my brain on your next launch?

Here’s how we can make that happen

 
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First off, you might be wondering if we’re a good fit

Which is an excellent thing to be pondering

If you:

  • Have an online course, program, or membership

  • That’s been tested in some way (e.g. through previous launches, a beta round, or in conversation with your prospects — *not* through late night sherry-soaked chats with your Great Aunt Mildred) 

  • And you’re down with being open, transparent, and collaborative 


Chances are we’re a match made in ;launchy heaven. 


You just need to let me know which one of these options will serve you best.

 
 

 
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FROM GO TO WOAH

Full launch strategy, copy, and support

You’re ready to take your launch to the next level and partner with someone who really knows what they’re doing.

As well as messaging, strategy, full funnel copy, and pick-my-brain support, I’ll stick around after the results are in to dive deep into the data and debrief your launch, so you can see what worked, why, and what could be done better next time around (because no matter how well a launch does, there’s *always* room for improvement). I only take on one of these projects at a time, to give myself the space to really roll around in them... which means I only have scope for 7 or 8 a year.

 

 

LAUNCH DEBRIEF

REVIEW, REFINE, REPEAT

Most recent launch fall short of your big, beautiful goals?

Whether it was a big swing and a miss or just kinda ‘meh’, this neat little service gives you crystal-clear insight into what worked, what didn’t, and WHY, so you know exactly what to do to make your next launch a big ol’ goal-kicker.

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BUY MY DAY

KILLER COPY — BY WINE O’CLOCK

Want access to my copy chops (…that sounds dodgier than I’d hoped) without the wait time or investment of a big project?

If you’ve got a sales page that needs optimising, a short email sequence that needs tackling, or a collection of odds and ends you want done right, this one’s for you.

 

 

Didn’t see what you’re after?

Let me know so we can see if your needs and my skills are a good fit.

 
 
Got an online course or membership?

Here’s how a strange little Game of Thrones spin-off series can help you have your most successful launch yet  

 
 
 

Wondering what the heck you just watched?

Excellent.

It’s a video I sent to one of my friends back in July 2017 in the lead up to Game Of Thrones Season 7.

Why?

Meh. Procrastination.

But it, and all its friends (there were 7 videos in total), became pretttyyy powerful pieces of content.

The friend I was sending them to (her name’s Emily, and as you’ll see in 2.9 seconds, she’s great for my self-esteem) started singing their praises at drinks one night--

So much so, a couple of my other friends *really* wanted to see them.

But they had NEVER watched Game Of Thrones.

 
 
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I know, right? THE FOOLS!

Now, because GOT is the most glorious show on television, and half the fun of it is deconstructing every episode with whoever’s in earshot, I was convinced my non-watching friends had a *lot* to gain from tuning in.

And this felt like the perfect opportunity to use my powers of persuasion to do them a solid.

I told them they couldn’t see my strange little creations until they’d watched all of Season 1.

They pleaded with me…

They bargained with Emily…

They tried to get my fiancé to crack…

But we all held steady and, finally, they caved.

They watched all of season 1.

Then season 2.

They WhatsApped me on the regular to (spoiler alert!) process Ned Stark’s beheading and talk about what a cunning little beast Joffrey was. I also sent them my strange little videos, which, of course, were the major prize.

 
 
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I’m going to pretend I didn’t see you pull that face…

In short, their lives got richer. And, so did mine, because I got to feel very proud of myself for getting them to FINALLY watch the greatest show on TV--

Something 6 years of social pressure hadn’t been able to achieve.

And I did it by employing two persuasive elements you can and should leverage in your next launch.

Here’s how.

GET EXCLUSIVE

This strange little tale is a great example that-

While being able to access something reserved for a special few is highly appealing, that appeal is often less about the thing itself, and more about what it represents in terms of social status and belonging.

You and I are social beasts, and rely on our relationships with others for all sorts of things, from forming our identity, to maintaining (or elevating) our status, and getting cues on how to behave.

In short, the relationships we have and the groups we belong to are very powerful, meaningful things.

My GOT-resisting friends didn’t want my weird little videos for pure entertainment value. (And really, what entertainment could they offer without the context of the show itself?)

They wanted them so they could--

  • Be in on the joke

  • Join the conversation

  • And be part of the small sub-group of friends who got a special WhatsApp delivery every Monday morning

The fact I wouldn’t let them have all this intrinsic goodness without jumping through a hoop (and it’s important to point out this hoop was one I was almost certain would add value to their lives - it’s all about meaningful impact, amirite?) made it all the more enticing.

I’m going to borrow from the genius of Robert Cialdini here, because he says most things better than I ever could, and seems to wear a suit 96% of the time, while I spend most of my days in stretchy pants:

“Potential unavailability is a compelling feature… if it is rare or becoming rare, it’s more valuable.”

 
 

So let’s break this down.

What about YOUR offer is (a) socially enticing, and (b) rare?

Need prompts? Boo, I got you...

  • What exclusive group does it invite your prospect into? e.g. 6-figure entrepreneurs, ladies in control of their health, or new parents who still enjoy sexy time (these are all launches I’ve worked on, by the way… and let me assure you, that sexy time group is HIGHLY coveted)

  • Is it a back-stage pass into a room full of people your prospect admires (yep, in a lot of cases, you’re one of these people), or a fast track to an elevated group of peers?

  • Will opting in elevate your prospect’s self-esteem in some way? e.g. by allowing them to say “I’m a person worth investing in”, “I’ve just done something great for my family” or “I’m part of the cool crowd”

  • Are you launching a course with limited places?

  • Or a mastermind that can only be accessed via application?

  • Does your prospect need to be on your list to see the offer?

  • Is this the last time your program will be priced this low?

  • Or the only time it will be offered in this form?

I have a thousand other prompts up my sleeves, but the point is this…

Exclusivity is a multi-faceted thing, and the REAL draw card it offers is the opportunity to be part of something meaningful.

If you can work out what the specifics are for the course you’re launching, you’ll be miles ahead of 87% of the competition.

Really-

I did the maths.

 
 
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And got a reliably better outcome than old mate Stannis

NAIL YOUR BONUSES

You noticed how so many online courses these days have bonus lists longer than the course content itself?

That’s because - when done well - bonuses can often be more appealing than the main event.

Sometimes this is down to exclusivity-

You can open your course or membership up to errybody who stands to benefit, but limit the number of people who get access to certain bonuses, like 1:1 coaching calls, additional group workshops, or, you know, weird little videos (HANDY TIP: these are usually most valuable to your launch as cart open bonuses)...

Sometimes this is a result of a nifty little cognitive bias called anchoring-

Which is the tendency we human folk have to be influenced by the numbers presented to us initially. So, if your prospect sees EVERYTHING included in your course, then a long list of bonuses (with their real-world prices or values laid out), and then discovers the complete package is a comparative steal, they’re more likely to buy…

But, whichever way you slice it, it’s always comes down to this:

A great bonus is one that’s aligned with your offer and helps your prospect reach their goals faster, more easily, or with greater success.

If it doesn’t fit this criteria, it doesn’t belong in your launch.

Look, I know this probably seems like weird advice when every man and their dog is stacking bonuses into their offers like they’re flipping pancakes at IHOP, but here’s the thing…

Overwhelm kills sales.

And the tipping point between adding value and drowning your prospect in tools, tactics, and ideas, is a *preettty* delicate one.

So do yourself, your next launch, and your business a favour. Go and look at your bonuses, one by one, and ask yourself this question...

“Do the benefits of this bonus align with the key promise of my offer?”

If so, give yourself a high-five and keep it in. If not, pluck it out and re-purpose it somewhere else.

Because the truth of the matter is this…

Your prospect wants the OUTCOMES your course or membership offers. They don’t care how many bits and pieces it takes to get there.

So draw them a straight line, support them in every way possible, and don’t get distracted by shiny objects in the periphery.

Including these will make your prospect less likely to buy in the first place, less likely to reach the course outcomes if they do, and less likely to recommend your course to their peers.  

And you don’t want that, right?

 
 
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If you found these insights useful, I’ve got something else you might like...

A collection of my best knowledge nuggets - delivered direct to your inbox over 5 days - that shows you how to make your next launch your most successful yet

Starting with the single most important aspect of a highly profitable launch (and I’ll bet you another weird GOT video it’s not what you’re thinking).

Want it? Drop your details in here.

*ooo* so exclusive

 

I respect your privacy and firmly believe spam belongs in a can, NOT your inbox. By signing up for this free course, you’re also joining my list, which means I’ll send you more tips, tricks, and questionable gifs on a semi-regular basis. From time to time, I’ll also try and sell you things (an offer you can reject or ignore through simple silence). You’re free to unsubscribe at any time. Even on my birthday.

This fun little form sends your words straight to my inbox. 

Use it to ask questions, talk business, or further ponder the practical limitations of banana costumes for dogs.

I'll be equally excited by all three. 

 
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